Kevin Smith’s Anti-Claus

By Dr. Know on April 28th, 2014

I don’t know if Kevin Smith has completely lost his marbles, or if he’s completely shifted to cinematic genius mode. Either way, I love him for it; Smith has just announced his next project, and it’s a doozy – Anti-Claus, a Yuletide horror flick populated by the stars of Smith’s upcoming Tusk, including Justin Long, Haley Joel Osment, Genesis Rodriguez and Michael Parks.

Anti-Claus tells the tale of the centuries-old, devil-like creature known the world-over as the Krampus – the “Anti-Claus” of Alpine country folklore, infamous for eating naughty children during the season of giving.

“When I was a kid, if they wanted to make a Christmas horror movie, they’d stick an axe in Santa’s hands,” says Smith. “In ‘Anti-Claus,’ we leave Santa alone and creep with the Krampus through twisted tales of holly-jolly murder, desire, desperation and despair. Just in time for the holiday season… In America, we’re taught that nice kids gets presents from Santa and naughty kids get coal. But in countries like Germany, Austria, Bavaria, Romania and Hungary, Christmas is more metal than merry: Saint Nicholas brings a sack full of toys for good kids and the Krampus carries an empty bag for taking away the bad kids. I wanna see THAT Christmas movie. So rather than wait for it, we’ll make it instead.”

I. Can’t. Wait.

Production is set for September; however, in the meantime, we’re still awaiting the release of Tusk. The story for Tusk centers on true-life story of a man stranded on an island with a walrus, whom he misses so much after returning home that he puts an ad in the paper for a roommate…a walrus roommate. No, not a real walrus, but rather an actual human being who will “dress like a walrus” for two hours a day and basically be this dude’s submissive.

Gee, and who woulda guessed – we haven’t heard squat about it since A24 and Demarest Films picked it up for distribution last Christmas. Think they’re concerned about its marketing?

Naaaaaaaaahhh!

NEW AMMO CLIP!

TECHNO-BABBLE!

BULLSEYES & MISFIRES!

DEADPOOL