BULLSEYE OR MISFIRE: Vampire Academy Reviews

By Dr. Know on February 8th, 2014

Critic Reviews for Vampire Academy

via Rotten Tomatoes

Ultimately more “Meaningless” than “Mean Girls,” “Vampire Academy” is a busy, overcomplicated empowerment fantasy with more hormones than brain cells.

February 7, 2014Full Review Source: The Wrap
 

The Wrap
Top Critic IconTop Critic

The only thing that distinguishes this teen-magnet wannabe from its predecessors is how lazily it appears to have been slapped together.

February 7, 2014Full Review Source: Washington Post
 

Washington Post
Top Critic IconTop Critic

For smart, strong girls, and the guys who like them, Vampire Academy will hit a vein.

February 7, 2014Full Review Source: L.A. Weekly
 

L.A. Weekly
Top Critic IconTop Critic

It’s “Twilight” as directed by Mark Waters, of “Mean Girls.” It’s an idea that might have been intriguing 15 years ago, before those movies existed.

February 7, 2014Full Review Source: Newsday
 

Newsday
Top Critic IconTop Critic

If a supernatural teen film ever required CliffsNotes, it would be this one.

February 7, 2014Full Review Source: Arizona Republic
 

Arizona Republic
Top Critic IconTop Critic

One idea, mixed with lame jokes, and stretched beyond coherence. Vampire Academy doesn’t need a review. It needs a stake in the heart.

February 7, 2014Full Review Source: Rolling Stone
 

Rolling Stone
Top Critic IconTop Critic

Had this been played tongue in cheek, and taken to the logical extreme, this could have been a blast. Unfortunately, it’s played straight. (Full Content Review for Parents also available)

February 8, 2014Full Review Source: Screen It!
 

Screen It!

Vampire Academy is just another failure in a long line of similarly structured experiences and quite frankly, the fact that there are six of these books blows my mind.

February 7, 2014Full Review Source: We Got This Covered
 

We Got This Covered

Put Robert Pattinson in Grade 12 and outfit his classmates with cleavage that would make Hermione blush, and you have a notion of the joys in store here.

February 7, 2014Full Review Source: Canada.com
 

Canada.com

Most of the time, the actors are working so hard to keep us up on developments in the plot that they don’t have time to fill in character details.

February 7, 2014Full Review Source: St. Paul Pioneer Press
 

St. Paul Pioneer Press

Vampire Academy will likely only satisfy fans of the books. To most everyone else, it’s another disposable addition to the growing pile of cheap YA movie adaptations.

February 7, 2014Full Review Source: ScreenRant
 

ScreenRant

If I laughed once more, I would have laughed once.

February 7, 2014Full Review Source: RedEye
 

RedEye

Vampire Academy ultimately doesn’t have much bite, but that doesn’t stop it from trying to continually show its teeth.

February 7, 2014Full Review Source: Film School Rejects
 

Film School Rejects

Exposition: The Movie.

February 7, 2014Full Review Source: Blu-ray.com
 

Blu-ray.com

Only a fraction of the scores of attempted jokes work, but it’s still funnier than it has any right to be.

February 7, 2014Full Review Source: McClatchy-Tribune News Service
 

McClatchy-Tribune News Service

Mark Waters’ ‘Vampire Academy’ is a tedium of heavy exposition, tired pop culture humor and some of the lamest vampires ever…

February 7, 2014Full Review Source: Bloody Disgusting
 

Bloody Disgusting

Hard to believe the same Daniel Waters who wrote HEATHERS wrote this. The mythology here is hilariously convoluted. Also- the subtext about the Dhampirs being content servants (slaves even) is more than a little odd.

February 7, 2014Full Review Source: JoBlo's Movie Emporium
 

JoBlo’s Movie Emporium

a stink bomb like this requires the devotion of a true fan to not only figure out what’s going on, but why we should care in the first place

February 7, 2014Full Review Source: Film Racket
 

Film Racket
View all critic reviews (19)

 

NEW AMMO CLIP!

TECHNO-BABBLE!

BULLSEYES & MISFIRES!

DEADPOOL