BULLSEYE OR MISFIRE: Transformers: Age Of Extinction
By Dr. Know on June 27th, 2014
Transformers: Age of Extinction is nearly three %$^&%!!# hours, and they’re brain-freezing.
This is as excruciating a movie as is likely to be experienced by anyone, anywhere.
The Transformers are brilliant, brave, world-conquering space travelers. Time to morph into something entertaining.
There are some fun action moments scattered throughout, although they’re largely negated by a screenplay that somehow manages to be overstuffed yet still thin.
Transformers: Age of Extinction, despite the hopeful ring of finality in the title, is merely another chapter in the saga, and far and away the worst one so far.
Waaayyyy too long but not as bad as some are painting it to be. If this is your thing, what I, or other critics think, won’t matter anyway.
[Compared to Michael Bay’s earlier work in Bad Boys and Armageddon], the Transformers films resemble out-of-control art school projects – crass without being remotely watchable, as if mocking the very notion of entertainment.
It’s almost impressive how Michael Bay figured out how to make robots fighting each other the antithesis of fun.
Presumably there’s some kind of story going on here but director Michael Bay doesn’t seem all that interested in it so why should you be? But more often things just happen because EXPLOSIONS!
This isn’t as much entertainment as an attempt to beat the moviegoer into submission with repetitive action scenes and two-dimensional characters.
The worst part is, with a semi-capable script and a more focused delivery, Michael Bay could have had a pretty stellar Transformers movie, instead of yet another Bay-splosion filled bit of clunky chaos.
“You can’t keep spending money on junk to make new junk!” Tanned teen Tessa pleads with her pops. Clearly, she doesn’t realize she’s in a Michael Bay movie…
Apparently these days all movies have to be dark, grim, joyless, and not allowed to be fun just for the sake of entertaining an audience. I loved every moment of this big, dumb, over the top extravaganza. It’s why Summer Blockbusters exist.
This tepid fourth installment is actually an improvement over 2011’s ridiculous Dark of the Moon entry. But that’s like saying the flu is better than pneumonia. Either way, a high threshold for pain is required.
Congratulations, Denise Richards; you’re no longer the most laughable movie scientist of all time.
It’s just noise, color and movement. It’s like a “Baby Einstein” video for teens, but infinitely louder and dumber. And so very, very long.
Transformers: Age of Extinction oversimplifies and stupefies what was already a dumbed down formula for a successful summer action blockbuster.
A pummeling, two hour and 45 minute assault that essentially dares the audience to keep track of what’s happening.