BULLSEYE OR MISFIRE: Jupiter Ascending Reviews

By Dr. Know on February 6th, 2015

Critic Reviews for Jupiter Ascending

via Rotten Tomatoes

 

Is there now enough evidence to support the idea that [The Matrix’s] pop brilliance, its kinetic-yet-smartly-allegorical storytelling, was an anomaly?

Full Review… | February 6, 2015

Joe Gross
Austin American-Statesman
Jupiter Ascending suffers from stupid. And deja vu. And a lack of discipline. And filmmakers who either can’t make another good film — let alone a great one — or don’t care to.

Full Review… | February 6, 2015

Kirk Baird
Toledo Blade
There’s an escapist summertime space opera buried here somewhere, but Jupiter Ascending’s surface is not nearly entertaining enough to encourage us to look for it.

Full Review… | February 6, 2015

Chris Barsanti
PopMatters
The script is fraught with cheesy lines and more than a few embarrassingly stupid moments.

Full Review… | February 6, 2015

Jeanne Kaplan
Kaplan vs. Kaplan
“Jupiter Ascending” is a planet-sized dud.

Full Review… | February 6, 2015

Jeffrey M. Anderson
San Francisco Examiner
The film gets sabotaged by overly long battle scenes, and an unconvincing love story.

Full Review… | February 6, 2015

David Kaplan
Kaplan vs. Kaplan
A wonderful screensaver of a movie.

Full Review… | February 6, 2015

Bryan Bishop
The Verge
Jupiter Ascending’s early cleverness dries up quickly, especially when Kunis is offscreen, leaving us with just another incoherent sci-fi spectacle.

Full Review… | February 6, 2015

Joe McGovern
Entertainment Weekly
Top Critic
It might become a midnight cult favorite a few years down the road, when its inherent awfulness reaches it’s-so-bad-it’s-good status.

Full Review… | February 6, 2015

Clint O’Connor
Cleveland Plain Dealer
Perilously close to being “The Space Princess Diaries.”

Full Review… | February 6, 2015

John Serba
MLive.com
This kind of pandering FX padding, unnurtured by humor or heart, is what shifts Jupiter Ascending from a shambles to a fiasco. The Wachowskis wind up where you never expected to find them creatively: on the ropes.

Full Review… | February 6, 2015

Peter Travers
Rolling Stone
Top Critic
Likely to go down as one of Hollywood’s costliest and biggest messes. (Full Content Review — Sex, Profanity, Violence, etc. — for Parents also available)

Full Review… | February 6, 2015

Jim Judy
Screen It!
In spite of Andy and Lana Wachowski employing enough effects and CGI artists to populate a mid-sized city, Jupiter Ascending does more descending than ascending.

Full Review… | February 6, 2015

Gary Wolcott
Tri-City Herald
Dear Diary, Channing Tatum is soooo cute. I wish he’d play a werewolf and fight vampires and wear eyeliner and no shirt.

Full Review… | February 6, 2015

Matthew Razak
Flixist.com
Filmmaking siblings Lana and Andy Wachowski never do anything by halves. The Matrix was a genre-changing blockbuster followed by two head-scratching sequels that ramped everything up a bit too much.

Full Review… | February 6, 2015

Rich Cline
Contactmusic.com
It feels like the Wachowskis got bored halfway through their world building and thought they could distract viewers by having Channing Tatum take off his shirt, shoot things and fly around on magic boots for two thirds of the movie.

Full Review… | February 6, 2015

Greg Maki
Star-Democrat (Easton, MD)
Tatum looks ready for Star Trek night at Magic Mike’s

Full Review… | February 6, 2015

James Verniere
Boston Herald
Jupiter Ascending sure looks nice, but beyond that it’s an incomprehensible mess of a story and certainly the last big-budget gasp for the Wachowskis.

Full Review… | February 6, 2015

Bill Clark
FromTheBalcony
Exhaustingly awful…

Full Review… | February 6, 2015

Kurt Loder
Reason Online
Warner Bros. has this critic’s approval to use my quote in Jupiter Ascending’s ad campaign: ‘It’s not as gloriously awful as feared.’

Full Review… | February 6, 2015

Christian Toto
HollywoodInToto.com
View All Critic Reviews (129)

 

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